Life in a blended family doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to work.
The stepparent in a new blended family should tell the children frankly what is expected of them, and what he or she hopes to be able to give. The stepparent should deal with the child like a supportive coach or counselor. Later, the feelings will catch up.
Blended families should hold regular meetings in which household rules are explained clearly and all members are encouraged to describe their feelings.
Be honest about the struggle. Parents need to recognize that they'll probably face some difficult moments.